funny-quotes

Super Bowl

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 00:42:41 +0100

The American people are sheep. They're comfortable, rich, working. It's like the Romans, they're happy with bread and their spectator sports. The Super Bowl means more to them than any right.
Jack Kevorkian

Super Donuts

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 00:39:52 +0100

Right now, I'm working with Super Bakery and we manufacture nutritional donuts called Super Donuts.
Franco Harris

God made trees

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:49:57 +0100

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen

Enemys

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:48:42 +0100

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Illegal

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:47:30 +0100

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott

Beer

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:43:41 +0100

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

Acting

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:42:39 +0100

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns

Short

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:39:51 +0100

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West

Chess

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:35:32 +0100

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips

Quarter

Sun, 24 Oct 2010 19:36:16 +0100

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
-- Stephen Wright